My Life Changing Experience

Matt Mosenthine, age 11
Written in August, 2006, just before my 12th birthday


Finally we are out of England and in France, but before I start journaling for France, I will write a closing to England. England to me was not just another country I have been to but more of a re-birthplace for me. I have had many awakenings in this small country known as Britain. Merlin (a new friend I met in Hereford) acted as a match that set a new flame to my fire, spirituality, and somehow, this flame set free my inner self, my real self. This flame also burned away my materialistic and judging sides. Of course, Merlin, a 14-year-old rock-loving hippie has no idea of his influences on me, although he knew he taught me not to care what people thought of me. This was the most important step, I realize now that before I had a fear of what people thought of me, whether good judgment or bad. If anyone did judge me I wanted to know, and I would change myself to match the standards of that person. Each time I changed another layer of fake goes over me and after a while I became almost totally plastic, and if this went on more and more, I believe my real self deep down in my heart would simply disappear and I would be living as a slave to judgment. The reason this was the most important step was because I could never be myself if I worried what people thought of me. Of course it still hurts when I see people pointing and laughing at me but that is because I am still a newborn, I am new to my real self. I think all of my eleven years of life was just a detour off of my life’s path, and now I am taking the A-30 freeway back to my true self.

All of these layers weren’t just from kids at school but within my own family as well. My father was very abusive both verbally and physically, both acts were very hurtful. I cannot recall exact events for it was a long time ago but I remember him always calling me stupid, an idiot, and a pervert. Of course at my age then I did not know what a pervert was, but I knew it was bad. After a while I knew exactly what he wanted from me and I changed myself to meet his standards. Well, tried too. It seemed the more I changed, the more my dad disliked me. Eventually I found out what a pervert was and felt lower than low. I had no idea why he would use a word like that on me, what did I do to deserve such abuse?

I felt more like a puppet than a human, without emotions and only feeling pain and self-pity. I did have many happy times but the excitement of these times were shaded over by hate by the next day. The few hours a day my mom was home I was by her side the whole time and for this my name went from pervert to sympathy seeker or mama’s boy in a mocking way. My mom was always telling me that the reason he treated me like this was because he was sick and when he got better, he would treat me better. Now my life revolved around my father’s well being, it seemed like my only hope. Every wishbone I broke, every birthday candle I blew out, and every dandelion I stepped on my wish was “please help my daddy to get better”. This hypnotized me, thinking he was going to get better, but deep down in my heart I knew his time was running out.

The night he died when Kate and I visited him in the hospital I held his hand and told him I loved him. A tear ran down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away and forced myself not to cry. I always remember him telling me when I was crying that he never cried when he was a kid and that I was a wussy. So now when he was dying and I was standing next to him I held back the natural flow of tears. He saw this and gave my hand a gentle squeeze that indicated that it was okay for me to cry. Right at that moment I forgave him for everything. This little gesture told me that he was sorry, he loved me, and that I was always a good son. I felt a huge load lifted off of my shoulders and I began to cry. The next morning when I woke up my mom told me that my dad died in his bed at two o’clock in the morning. I cried but soon covered it up and acted as if nothing had happened. This was very unhealthy and put me in the place I was before England.

Gabriel has been very helpful to me by helping me explore myself without judging me and giving me the space to practice my beliefs spiritually. I am honored to have him in my family, although sometimes it wouldn’t seem like that because sometimes we have disagreements, although that is normal, I suppose.

Another big force in my life was the recognition of Jah the Rastafarian god. This came shortly after I was able to be myself and able to practice my beliefs without a care of other peoples’ judgments. It is impossible for me to follow the flow of the modern church with the idea that any other religion won’t get into heaven and with constant wars between religions for power. My father was baptized Christian and my stepfather Bar Mitzvah’d and is Jewish, I felt a pull towards neither Christianity nor Judaism so I chose the way of the lion, Rastafarian, which ended up to be a mixture of both without the modern insanity. Most people when they hear of the Rastafarian religion, all they think of it is a bunch of dreadlocked guys smoking cannabis and getting high. Yes, smoking cannabis might be a part of the religion, but not the only feature. The true Rastafarians use the medicine to go deeper into meditation; some don’t even smoke it at all. I myself can go into a meditation state with a stick of incense and the feeling of Jah all around me, in the earth, in the sky, in the trees, in the sun, and most important of all, in me. Although I am not following the exact path of the Rastafarian, I am allowed to have my own beliefs.

At first I didn’t want to write this, not in fear of the response from all my friends and family, but more of a worry of its outcome. I was worried that I wasn’t going to speak the truth and my feelings, because I had never really done it before. Writing this was kind of like a healing for me, all of this coming from my heart and soul. This story helped me get over emotions locked away from my father and I would like to say it feels really good to let out the truth. You may think I am stupid for writing what I did, you may think I am such a retard for putting myself out in the world like I did, you may even think I am gay for sharing my feelings and emotions with you, but one thing is for certain, I am what I am and nothing else is going to change me.

France 2 – D-Day Reunion 62 Years Later-Sept 1-4, 2006

Dearest Family and Friends,
This was a difficult entry for me (Icasiana) to publish as it exposes so much of me that I wasn’t even aware of until now. I had asked Creator if I really needed to publish it, and was told “yes, because this will help others who are afraid to speak out about their experiences that are not easily understood and are ‘outside of the box.’” It is scary to venture in these realms and I believe there is healing in being this vulnerable. I continue to marvel how this journey keeps tapping us for more; more healing, more opening, more courage, and ultimately more expansion.
I thank Gabriel for his adventuresome spirit to ride the course with me and support me in such an amazing way for my soul’s evolution. I thank Kate and Matt for trusting me, and I thank Elijah for just being. I thank all our friends and family for sharing this journey with us, vicariously and through our thoughts and prayers.
To get to our most up to date info go to our blog site at: www.oursacredjourney.blogspot.com or check our web site at: www.gabriel-icasiana.com




Normandie Revisited, In This Lifetime
Goosebumps coursed through my body and erupted on my skin as I studied the map while looking for our next destination in France. As soon as I realized how close we were to Normandie, the more I realized I had to go back. Strange, I had never been to France before, in this life, but I was to come to the realization that my life had ended on June 6, 1944, D-Day. I had told Gabriel that there is a very strange and strong pull for me to go there. I didn’t know why I had to go there or why I was feeling so emotional, but I was very sure I had to go there. Gabriel said, “well let’s go.” As we got closer to Utah Beach, Gabriel could see the emotional effect of this return on me, and he asked if I had had a previous life here. I just nodded yes. The strange occurrence of the previous days was starting to make sense. Several days earlier when we got to the Normandie region and visited Le-Mont St. Michel, I started feeling extreme pain in my left shoulder blade, close to my spine; it also restricted the movement of my neck. Pain would shoot through me and when Gabriel would work on me, it would free up for a while, but then it would return. At first I thought it was from sleeping cramped up in the van, but intuitively I knew it was something deeper. I literally asked my body what it was trying to show me; I asked, what lessons must I learn through this pain. The answer came soon after asking.

Ascent on Utah Beach
Once we started our two-hour drive from Le-Mont St. Michel toward Utah Beach, more information started coming to me. The hair on the back of my neck would rise up when I would think of why I was having flash backs to 1944 and why I was feeling such an affinity in this life for the French people, as I really didn’t have any exposure to many French people before. As we drove, images starting flooding my mind, these were images of me in Army fatigues running off the US Boat toward the shore. The weather was rainy and dreary and there was a high wind. I was struggling carrying all the radio equipment and supplies on my back. I was thrilled reaching the beach without being shot. I was so loaded down that I was moving quite slowly when I heard my buddy call me from behind. He had been shot. In my mind I didn’t want to head back because I would be exposed to German gunfire. My orders had been to run to the beach and get up the hill and “do not turn back.” But I was not able to leave him behind when I heard him call my name, “Bobby”. I made a split decision, against orders from my commander, and trudged back to my fallen buddy James. He had been hit badly and blood was gushing from his neck. By the time I arrived by his side he was nearly dead. Then a shot from high above sounded and it came toward me. Now I was hit. I could feel the bullet ripping through all the equipment I was carrying, but I felt it as if it was in slow motion. I thought the equipment was going to save me, but no, the bullet ripped through my left shoulder, near my spine. I doubled over James and we looked at one another with the look of death. I knew I would die, I just didn’t know when, but I definitely knew my time was coming. I held James as he spat blood and gasped his last few breaths. It comforted him a little to die with me, his buddy. For that I was pleased.

My Fascination with D-Day
In this life, I have always had a fascination with D-Day and the invasion of Normandy. I found that strange as I have never been one to have the desire to learn or speak about war, but inexplicably D-Day held a spell over me. When I watched the movie Platoon many years ago when the PT boats landed on the shore and all the soldiers were basically slaughtered even before they hit the sand, I had a visceral reaction, so much more intense and personal than just from seeing the images on the screen. I felt like I knew those guys. I somehow knew what they were going through.

I have a dear friend, John Allard, who fought at the Battle of the Bulge in France. He and his twin brother were both sent over to fight. When I first met him, I just adored him and his wife Betty (who has since passed on). I started asking him about his life and he shared his experience about the war. I found it so fascinating and yes, even familiar. He had said that when he fought in the battle, nearly all of the men from his squadron were killed. A knowing chill ran through my body when he told me this and now a chill runs through my body as I remember this today.

French Angels Rescue Me
I didn’t die on Omaha beach where I landed and where I was shot. James died, but I was rescued at dusk by a wonderful French family who risked their lives by sneaking onto the beaches past the German guards to rescue any survivors they could find after a day of gruesome war. They didn’t care what uniform the person was wearing. They cared about saving people’s lives, at the risk of their own. They drug me off of James and then removed my radio equipment and supplies and laid them on the beach. Then they drug me closer to the rocks to avoid the German soldiers from seeing us. Once they got me near the rocks, I was carried, quite roughly for what seemed like many miles, up a huge hill and over pastures and fields. The woman, Marie, was telling her husband, Henri, in French that I had lost quite a bit of blood and I needed to lay flat or I would surely die. It’s odd that I was able to understand their conversation even though I don’t believe I could speak French. I can only imagine that I was close to death and had begun to pass through the veil with expanded awareness, where language is not such a barrier. Finally, he stopped and laid me down in a field. I knew we were near a church as I could hear the bells toll. I was grateful to hear the bells, and glad to still be alive. Marie cradled my head while Henri looked at my wounds and I could tell by the shocked look on his face, I wasn’t going to last much longer. I was in excruciating pain, I didn’t have to say a word, he just knew. He took out a bottle of whiskey and let me drink some. Marie cradled my head and spoke to me in French. It was like a lullaby. Her voice was lovely and kind and she then started to sing. I knew this was the end. I was so grateful that I was not left on the beach, piled with all the others who lost their lives. I drifted off quietly, feeling love and gratitude that I died in the arms of these courageous and compassionate French souls.

The Church Bells Toll
We drove the van out to Utah Beach and the hair on the back of my neck was prickly and my neck felt that electricity of remembrance. Gabriel asked me if this was the beach and I told him no. The beach I was at had German soldiers perched on a hill and there were stones near the shore. This beach was completely flat with only the sand and long grassy fields. It was surreal to see this beach now looking so calm and peaceful, knowing it was the site of such horror so many years ago. I started to doubt myself and wondered if I had just imagined the whole story. As we stood there the weather began to turn; the wind started to pick up and the rain started to come, simulating the weather of that day and further igniting my memory of the treachery that had occurred 62 years ago. Soon after we drove into the town of Saint Marie du Mont, just up the road from Utah Beach; we went on the roundabout and I heard the church bells toll and time stopped for me. I knew those bells. Those were the bells. The sound reverberated through time. Just across from the church was a Museum that was called the Musee de Occupation, and even at this late hour of 6:30 p.m. it was still open. We went in and the first thing I saw was a WWII American soldier dressed in uniform. I recognized that uniform, it was the same as the one I wore.

Musee de Occupation
I asked the curator if he had a map of the beaches of Normandie and he did. He showed me the map and it showed where the US troops landed, where the British troops landed, where the Canadian troops landed, and where the other allies landed on the beaches of Normandy on D-Day 62 years ago. Utah and Omaha beaches were the 2 beaches where the US soldiers landed. Chills ran through me as I remembered I had once studied maps of these beaches, I then asked him if there was a place on the beach that had a hill, a cliff and rocks at the bottom. He said “yes!” here, and he pointed to Pointe du Hoc. That was it. I knew it. I was stunned and relieved that I had found it.

After our tour through the museum we had dinner at a nearby restaurant. Throughout the entire town there are monuments and signs of gratitude to the American people for their assistance in their liberation. Even in this restaurant there was a picture of a soldier who had returned for the 60 year anniversary of D-Day. He was pictured hugging two women. My thoughts turned to my return, 62 years later. The only difference is that I came two years later, I have another body, and I’m a woman now. Dinner was over and strangely, the wind and weather had knocked out the electricity as we left. I thought that was odd. I remembered this kind of weather from the last time and it had an eerie effect on me.

Remembrance at Pointe du Hoc

The site at Pointe du Hoc that I remember

The next morning we drove to Pointe du Hoc. There are monuments in tribute and an American flag hanging in the center of the square. I said to Gabriel, “why would the US flag be hanging here?” We soon found out that the United States had been given the 30 acres of land including Omaha Beach that they had been so instrumental in winning back. The United States had been given the honor of being responsible to care for it in perpetuity. I felt proud for a moment. I then proceeded to read about the D-Day invasion. The weather today was beautiful, blue skies, fluffy white clouds with a warm, balmy breeze, nothing like it was yesterday. As I read the placards it said that the D-Day attack was scheduled for 6:30 a.m. on June 6, 1944 but stormy weather and navigational difficulties delayed the deployment of the men on the beach by 40 minutes. This was critical and costly to many lives as the bombing brigade that preceded the soldiers landing on the beach had ended 40 minutes earlier, not just moments ago as planned. This gave the Germans time to regroup and recoil for our next assault. This is why they were ready when my squadron came.

The Casualties Were High
Two hundred and twenty five US soldiers had hit the Omaha Beach at 7:10 a.m. The Germans were ready. They killed nearly 100 of us just as we got off the boats. The remaining soldiers that did get up the cliff and hills used grappling hooks and sheer guts. When the battle was over, only 90 soldiers survived. I started crying and feeling such sadness and shame that I wasn’t one of the 90 who made it. I had lost my life along with all the other men. I wasn’t part of the glory. I was a casualty. There was a lesson for me here; I just had to wait for it to unfold.

Reminder When the Bell Tolls
We left the monument and headed towards Omaha Beach. We walked through the grassy fields and peered over the cliffs and I saw the rocks that lined the beach. This was it. These were the rocks I never made it to. I then saw the area that I had landed 62 years ago, the beach had changed over the years, the sand had diminished, but I recognized the rocks and cliffs that remained the same. We walked in a procession to this area and then made our way through bramble and nettles to an area high above the beach. From here I could see the area where Henri had carried me to safety, the place where I died in the arms of Marie. I looked in the distance and saw the church steeple that housed the bell that rang out to me all those years ago. The same bell that tolled at 6:30 p.m. when we arrived into town yesterday must have tolled near the time when I passed over. Maybe it was 6:30 p.m. the night of June 6, 1944. I don’t know, but that feels right.

Awakening to the Healing
As a family we created a ceremony on this grassy field. Gabriel burned sage and shook the rattle in a chanting trance inducing rhythm. He asked Creator through prayer for any messages that would assist me in this lifetime, and he asked for healing and integration between my lives. Once I was able to relax into the prayer I felt a great release as we sat there. I, too, asked Creator why I needed to relive this tragedy. Why was I here today, sitting in this field with my family, not as a victim, as an observer. What was the purpose of all this? I was told that this tragedy of the past was still holding me back in my current life. Even though I assisted my buddy James and my heart opened to Marie and Henri, I still held strong feelings of failure and shame. When I deployed from my boat that morning 62 years ago, all I had on my mind was the glory of what I would feel as a hero saving the land of the French people and stopping the onslaught of the Germans. Never did it occur to me that I would be shot and killed. I felt I had failed my buddies, failed the mission and failed myself. This is the residue I brought into this life and it was something I needed to clear. It is the fear of failing, deeply seated in my cellular memory. What I’ve learned in this lifetime is how the body stores the memory of traumas, fears, and everything that is not cleared, and the importance of clearing it so we can move forward and be here now.

Spirit Speaks Through My Soul
Spirit spoke to me and let me know that it was time now to let go of this fear. Many times I have not been willing to do things for fear that I may make mistakes or fail and look foolish. I realized now that there was no failure in what I had done. There was honor in dying for this cause, this was my path, and I had helped to pave the way for those that made it. I also felt reinforced to stay in my heart and keep connecting with people the way that I do. Spirit showed me that my deep connection with people comes from my ability to listen through my heart, something I had learned from Henri and Marie in that field as I lay dying. After we left and drove away from Normandy, the pain in my left shoulder and neck was totally gone. I was free and clear. I believe part of the reason I could release and heal this past event was that I didn’t feel victimized by it anymore; it felt like another stage or phase of my life that was necessary for my learning. It is through this work that my soul advances.

Gratitude for the Lessons
Another lesson I was shown was that war needs to be avoided at all cost, but if we are at war, as we are now, it is our duty to support the soldiers who are fighting. Not the policies or policy makers, but the individuals who risk their lives and who serve their country – right, wrong or indifferent. I believe there will be more lessons to come from this experience, yet already this has been truly cathartic, insightful and uplifting to have released this energy to its appropriate lifetime. I thank Creator for this gift, the catalyst for healing and expanding my divine connection.

Epilogue
As a family we spoke of my experiences and the healing that occurred when I faced it. Kate was attentive and fascinated with hearing about my past life and asked many probing questions. That night she had a very poignant dream that she’d like to share with all of us. She wrote about this as a journal entry and we are sharing it with you below:


Kate’s Dream about Normandy
When we got to Normandy, something amazing happened to mom. She realized that she had a past life here, and not really the best of lives in my opinion. She, or shall I say “he” was a U.S. soldier that came here to fight the Germans. She was one of the men that would run off of the boats to get up the hill to take back France from the Germans. Unfortunately, many were killed when they came off the boat.

As she was running off of the boat when it landed, she was determined to get to the rocks for safety and shelter from the Germans. As she was running up, keeping her eyes on nothing but the rocks, her friend James had been shot in the neck, and lay behind her. He was near death but he was calling her name. My mom just kept thinking about those rocks, and how if she turned around she would be shot too. But it was her friend and she made the choice to try to save him. So she turned, and as she reached her friend James she was shot in the left shoulder by a German soldier, by me (according to my dream anyway). In my dream I was younger than a lot of the German soldiers. I believe I was in Hitler’s youth Nazi group, I don’t know anything else about who I was except for I knew that I was scared to hold a gun, and even more scared to shoot somebody.

As the men were running up on to the beach I was even more frightened, they looked like a huge stampede running towards me, I was clueless about what I should do. As they were running up the Nazi soldier next to me shot a man, the man was calling out a name after he was hit, I couldn’t understand what he was saying, but after a few seconds another U.S. soldier turns around to listen, that man being my mom, I was In the perfect line to shoot this man, but I didn’t want to. The same Nazi next to me said in German to shoot the man and make Hitler proud or to die myself (in my dream if you didn’t make Hitler proud when in the youth group then you would be beaten or even shot and killed as punishment.) So I shot the man in the left shoulder, all I could remember was the man falling and then looking at me, then his face turned into my mom’s face. Then I woke up. I was so frightened by this that I couldn’t sleep for the next 2 hours, finally when the image left my mind, I went back to sleep. I was glad to see my mom okay and alive the next morning, so I asked her to make me breakfast – then I knew everything was really okay.

France – Sacred Stones, Savory Food & Funny Lessons-August 24-31, '06

Dear Family and Friends,
We are in France now and it is wonderful to be here, experiencing the sacred sites, the delicious food and the beautiful countryside. To get to our most up to date info go to our blog site at: www.oursacredjourney.blogspot.com or check our web site at: www.gabriel-icasiana.com.


After difficult lessons in Britain, we have been savoring the sweetness in France, and laughing a lot. Funny things have been happening.

Ferry to Freedom
We take a ferry from Plymouth in England and ride 6 hours to get to Roscoff, France. The ferry is a first class operation, well organized, and the food in the restaurant is superb, a glorious dinner after 2 months in Britain where we had gotten very tired of the food. We were very surprised when we got into Roscoff that there are no immigration officials to look at our passports or give us a visa to stay in France. We just drive right off the boat and into France. This is especially ironic because at the ferry embarkation in Plymouth the ferry operators stopped us at the entrance line and were not going to let us through when they found out we had no visa to come into France. We waited in line for 20 minutes until they called the immigration officials in France, upon Icasiana’s suggestion, and finally told us we didn’t need a visa before we arrived in France. I guess not only didn’t we need a visa before we arrived; we seemingly didn’t need a visa at all, even though they almost didn’t let us get on the boat in the first place. We shall see when we are leaving France to go into our next destination if we really did need a visa.

Electrical Ons and Offs
When we drive off the ferry with no idea where to go, we drive to a municipal parking lot intended for campers and stay overnight. There is no charge and no bathrooms, but we are happy to land gently in France. We drive to Carnac the next day, and we’re excited to see these ancient stones that we’ve heard so much about. Carnac is said to have the largest amount of ancient stones and concentration of sites of anywhere in the world. The kids are excited because we have found a wonderful campsite with a big swimming pool and fun water slides. We like it because it’s surrounded by pine trees and grass fields nearby, and it’s organized very well. When we set up in our site, we plug in the electrical plug, and it doesn’t work. We’d gotten all these other things fixed in the van and must have thought that this would just magically get fixed now that we were in “alignment”. This hope turned out to be just a fantasy. Icasiana spends a couple of hours trying to trace the problem and fix it. She gets it to work for a moment, oh happy day, but alas it is just a fleeting moment, then nothing.

The next day we go to the camping store in the next town over from Carnac. We were told of 2 places, the other place, Baud is about 45 minutes away, and this one in Pleuharnel is just 5 minutes away. The lady at the store tells us she cannot help us, and then she remembers her brother in law is visiting and might be able to help. At least that’s what I think she says because she doesn’t speak a word of English. Her brother in law arrives and works on it, tightens a few wires, and it works. Oh this is great. I pay him 20 euros for his help and we drive back to the campsite, plug it in and it doesn’t work anymore. We decide that we are not going to spend any more of our time in magical Carnac trying to get this fixed. We will wait till we can go to a bigger city.


Carnac – Land of Magic and the Largest Megalithic Stone Alignments in the World Wow!

These stone alignments are so magical and powerful. They rove across the landscape for as many as 9 miles long in rows wide as 100 meters and of many as 11 rows across. Some of them are gigantic and some are just huge. Why were they built? We don’t know. I believe that they follow the earth energy lines, and each row is a line of the energy field. They were also built as astronomical and astrological markers of the solstices, winter and summer, and of things beyond our knowing. When we arrived in Carnac we found out that the main stone alignment areas are fenced off, much to our dismay. We learned that this has been done because for many years access to these sites was fully open, but in addition to vandalism, the trampling of the grass by so many people was causing erosion of the soil and the stones were falling down. These measures were instituted for protection. After October, which is after the rainy season and the large influx of tourists, the sites are again accessible. Well, we just had to get in closer to the stones. I mean they are very nice to look at, but I must touch them and feel them. We did sign up for a guided tour that let us in for one hour. We were not good students though. The woman talked for 30 minutes straight while the group stood in one place without walking through the stones at all. Later on there was some time for the group to walk about but we had long ago separated from the group by then, and we weren’t called back or chastised. I mean, what was the point of listening to her talk about the stones when the whole talk was in French?

Night Life at the Stones
I did take it upon myself to drive us back to my favorite spot after dark, the Kermario alignment. Oh my God. It was magnetic, it was electric, it was something special to be there. I felt like I was about to levitate. There I was in the dark walking amongst the stones, leaning against them and feeling their magnetism. I was in a wonderful sanctuary. The stones took on the shapes of many amazing beings: dolphins, whales, frogs, Mother Mary, giants, old men’s faces. At night my feelings about them became more pronounced and charged and magical as the distractions of the day were minimized. The 2nd night I lay in the field amongst these great giants and felt such power and presence. I even felt a healing coursing through my body. Strangely that night, I had horrifying dreams. I was in the midst of gruesome images of war. I woke up very shaken and not knowing what it all meant – was it a message for me or did the stones awaken this dream?

Being in the presence of these stones was such a gift for me, yet I read in one of our books (Standing Stones by Jean-Pierre Mohen) how the church forbade people to have ceremonies amongst the stones because they viewed it as idol worship. On that basis they took it upon themselves to destroy many of the stones. We are left today with only a fraction of what once was, and still what we are left with is amazing. I feel very sad not only for what was destroyed by the church but for how people have been controlled and disempowered by their policies. The church has discouraged people from having a direct experience with the life force of creation. Must it all be in the form sanctioned or institutionalized by the church? For what purpose has this suppression been done?

Comedy Before we get the Van Fixed
The time has come to leave Carnac after 5 days. The kids are sad because they have loved the water slide, and they have made friends from Britain and France that they’ve had fun with. We plan to go to the bigger towns of Vannes and Rennes to get the van fixed so we won’t be having spoiled food because the fridge cannot stay on long enough. This day begins as a comedy of the absurd. We get to Vannes and I ask the lady at the gas station if there is a camping store that we can get our electricity fixed. This is in French of course. I had gotten the people at the campsite in Carnac to write down for me how to ask this question in French. The family has been amused as I’ve practiced saying it in advance so I’ll be ready for my premiere. I get the question out fine, but my French comprehension is not very advanced. I understand nothing. She’s trying to explain to me that there are no camping stores in this area at all, or in the next big city of Rennes, that we should go to Auray. That’s where we have just come from. We will have to go back. Then she gets the mechanic to help me find a place, he also speaks no English. They’re telling me there are 2 places in the Carnac/Auray area that may be able to help me, but I can’t understand what or where they are. This conversation has all been taking place in French, or sort of on my part – I grunt and gesticulate a lot to try and make myself understood when I have no words. Then the woman says to me, “Okay, I’ll explain to you how to get there.” And she proceeds to explain to me in perfect English how to get there. I guess I had made a big enough fool of myself that she took pity on me. We had heard that many of the French people can speak English but prefer not to. I believe the French people want to be met on their own terms. And I can understand that. There are forces in the world, the United States, the World Bank, the IMF (International Money Fund), to name a few, that are forcing many countries of the world to acquiesce to their will. They often break down subsistence farming communities and make them dependent on growing crops for export at cheap prices. Their policies have led to the crushing of small farmers all over the world. Small farmers in local communities have become mostly a thing of the past. There have been worldwide protests over this issue. There was even a South Korean man who, at a demonstration of this issue, killed himself in protest. In France there are still small farmers in local communities. They have resisted the pressure to conform, and they have maintained their culture. I respect them for that. Each town we go through looks different. The countryside is beautiful; there is a wonderful feeling here. There is much more freedom here than in Britain, yet the people seem much more self regulating.

Oh Where Oh Where Can we Go?
Back to the story; so she tells me how to get to 2 camping stores where we can get the electricity fixed. So we drive back where we’ve come from. We find the first place, it has closed and moved. We call the number, but the company that we bought our French SIM card has had technical difficulties and we’ve not been able to make phone calls or receive any calls for that matter. This is a sore point for us. So we try to find the second place. This is where things get crazy. We drive to the 2nd place and ask directions when we get to the town and get sent to who knows where. We get lost of course, go back and ask directions again and are sent to a city miles away. Normal thinking processes are getting fuzzy at this point and I drive to the far away city wondering why I hadn’t looked further in the town of Crac’h. Of course when we get to the next city of Belz 30 minutes away no one knows of any camping store. At this point I am so frustrated that my fuses blow and I give the driving over to Icasiana. We decide to drive to Baud, the store we had first been told about in Carnac days ago that we never went to because it was so far away. But it wasn’t nearly as far away as this ridiculous ride we’ve had today.

Electrical Problem Ignites New Friendships

[The Nicol family, sorry without mother and wife Marie]
We find the camping store in Baud. They sell camper vans and caravans here. When we arrive we see one of the workers building a caravan. That’s a good sign. The boss, Didier, comes to help us and he has kind eyes. He looks it over and soon after shows us what part of the connection board is “kaput”. He does speak a bit of English. The security part of the board is defective and so the whole thing doesn’t work. He rewires it and bypasses the security board and it works. He tells us to get it fixed when we get back home, but it will work for now. We tell him we’re not going home, this is our home. He says he can fix it but the store that has the part we need is closed by now. We can go to a campground for the night and get it fixed in the morning. All right, that sounds good. He tells us there is a campground that we can go to and he starts to give us directions. Things get confusing here and he decides to have one of his workers take us there but he doesn’t tell us what he has in mind. When the worker drops us off, it’s not a campground that we’re at, but we’re at Didier’s home. Surprise! He and his wife Marie have invited us to their home and we are welcomed by their 2 girls who are the only ones at home. I’m scratching my head at this turn of events. As it turns out, they had thought we needed to plug into the electricity and the campground they knew about didn’t have electricity. So they just brought us to their home. We were so touched by their kindness and how they had taken care of us. What was ironic was that we had never had the plug working before so we were not used to plugging in to electricity anyway and certainly weren’t expecting what they had planned for us. We were glad though that now we could plug in and the fridge would work and we wouldn’t waste more food. They made their home available to us and had a tent set up already that the kids could use to sleep in. They offered us food and wine, some of which I accepted (the wine) as Icasiana lay with Elijah in the van trying to get him to stop his breastfeeding gymnastics routine and go to sleep. Icasiana has been trying to ply me with wine on this trip so she can have a drinking partner, and she hasn’t been very successful. The kids are just too young. I can barely get past one sip of wine and I’ve had more than enough. But the wine in France is not bad, meaning I can actually drink it. The kids were amused at my new sense of humor after 2 glasses, I think. It seemed funny to me anyway.

The Van is Fixed At Last!
The next day when we go back to their shop, Didier fixes the electrical problem easily. This was funny because we had had so many people try to fix it to no avail. He also fixed our light fixture that had been falling down and in the way for almost 2 months that we’d tried to fix a number of times. Didier has been building his own home for a few years, he knows camper vans and this stuff was kindergarten stuff to him. For us it was not so simple and it was much appreciated. We thanked him and his wife and left (they thought they had seen the last of us). Instead, we went to town to get a present for them to thank them more deeply for their help and kindness. We found a plant and some flowers and brought it back to their shop but it was closed for lunch. We took a chance that they were at home and took our gift to them there. When they received our gift they were shocked at what we had done. They gifted us with wine and champagne and a warm reception to eat with them. Before we left, we exchanged email addresses and we showed them how to use a translation program so we could write and translate into the other’s language. We left the town of Baud feeling buoyed and excited to go to Le Mont St. Michel, which is a corresponding sacred site from Mount St. Michael that we had visited in Cornwall, England.

Presence or Presents
We marvel at our son Elijah. As he approaches his first birthday we notice that he is so joyful and so present with us. People remark to us all the time of how present he is with them. It has been such a gift for us to be able to be with him this first year of his life without being called away to so many other things of the world. When we are with him, which is all the time, we give him our full attention, and we notice that he feels so safe and trusting. Icasiana and I had a conversation about this and we believe that kids want full presence from their parents much more than they want presents. We’re not thinking of how we can stimulate him, or accelerate his growth, or develop his intelligence. We trust his innate intelligence and marvel at his natural curiosity. As a chiropractor I have practiced my professional system of removing interference and letting healing happen from within. With the baby we remove interference by being fully present with him and let the growth and intelligence develop from within.

Nor do we try to keep him busy. We have noticed in most every country we have been in, except Bali, that kids are very distracted by TV, video games, iPods and other electronic paraphernalia. Our belief is that these gadgets keep kids indoors and distracted away from their source, from nature, their creator, or whatever deeper connection they could have. Matt and Kate have not had these gadgets for most of the trip and we have noticed some amazing changes in them, especially in Matt. He has had the opportunity to have some deep conversations with other young people and has evolved his thinking, his philosophy and most-importantly, his heart. He has had a spiritual awakening and a developing faith in his connection with the creator. This has led to a whole new feeling about himself, an increased sense of confidence, and a dissolving of his fear of being judged. For Icasiana, she feels the whole trip is worth it just for this healing he has had. We will publish his writings about his experiences immediately after this update. Matt has expressed that even though his writing is extremely personal, he’d like to share it with others, that it may be helpful to young (and old) people, to get into their hearts and find their source, their core for healing.

You’ll hear from us real soon!

Love and blessings, Gabriel and Icasiana and the family.

Britain 2 –Alignment of Standing Stones and Alignment with Promises to Spirit - July 26-August 24

Dearest friends and family, you have touched our hearts with your outpouring of support and love expressed after hearing of our loss. Your words and care meant so much to us during this difficult time and assisted in our healing process. Thank you and God Bless.

To get to our most up to date info go to our blog site at: www.oursacredjourney.blogspot.com
or check our web site at: www.gabriel-icasiana.com, the site has been beautifully updated by Amrita, and has many pictures from the journey.




Stonehenge – Magic in the Stones
We made special arrangements to see Stonehenge and get into the circle and touch the stones. Most people are not allowed to go up close to the stones; they are restricted to a path that is a distance from the megalithic, ancient stone circle. By special arrangement, before and after regular tourist hours, and for more money, one can go close to the stones. Our time was for 5 am till 6 am, one hour’s time only. That meant getting up at 3 am, rousing the children, and driving the 1 ½ hours to get there on time. As fate would have it, we got seriously lost on the way. We had been given instructions for a short cut through back roads. It wasn’t much of a short cut as we were lost for nearly an hour. With each wrong turn, I was trying to remind myself to surrender to the will of God. Frustration was definitely taking over though, and I was remembering that we only had one hour’s time and it was fleeting. We had left an extra half hour earlier just in case, but we had squandered that and more. When we finally got to the road we were searching for and got on our way, we soon came to a detour that took us an extra ½ hour out of our way. I couldn’t believe it. We did surrender at this point, and were going to be thankful for whatever time we had with the stones. Silently Icasiana was concerned about the more than double amount that we had paid. As it turned out, when we got there, 3 other cars had been delayed because of the detour. The guards let us stay an extra hour on top of the original 15 minutes we had left. We were fortunate because we ended up being able to stay longer than if we had gotten there on time.

After a stressful and extra long drive to get there, being at Stonehenge was magical. . We walked in silence, preparing ourselves for our entry – the sun had just begun to rise as we approached. I (Icasiana) felt a deep connection to the stones. They were pulsing with energy, ancient energy and energy from all those who have laid their hands upon them over the thousands of years of their existence. Soon after we arrived, there was a lovely choir singing their praises as a group, very fitting. I went deep into the mystery of these stones. I saw ritual and ceremony that the builders of this megalithic site had performed. The consciousness and cohesiveness of the group that was able to “lift” nearly 100 ton stones to cap the top of the standing stones, was amazing to me. I received information how ceremony was performed, slowly, deliberately with the highest intention, those in prayer would walk in and out of the stones, making 3 full revolutions around the entire sphere of stones in a clockwise motion – in and out of each individual stone. I felt extremely grateful for the glimpse I received into the ways of the ancients.

Crop Circles, First a Breakdown
Friday afternoon we heard Hamish Miller present at the Crop Circle Symposium. I had mentioned Hamish in the last email. He and his wife Ba have traveled around the world visiting and dowsing sacred sites and documenting the energy lines and energy forms present. We have been to a number of the places he spoke about; especially we were interested in what he had to say about New Zealand.

The following day we intended to go to one of the crop circles about an hour away. Just as we headed out of town with John and Claire and their family in front of us, our van broke down. This would become a continuing theme. We pulled off to a side road and John and Icasiana proceeded to figure out the problem. Gabriel being incompetent in these matters was happy to let them have their go at it – and to competently turn the key when they gave the signal. Of course, this is when it started to rain. After a bit of time, Icasiana had figured out it was a certain rubber hose that had sprung a leak causing the engine to lose compression. So she takes some chewing gum and some duct tape and fixes it. We head back to Glastonbury driving just fine. She is something else, that’s my wife. She says that I’m a lot like her dad, but this is not one of those ways. He could fix anything, and I can let someone else fix anything. We got back into town, and had a certified mechanic look at it, and they were able to make a temporary repair.

Crop Circle at Savernake Forest
The following day we made another attempt to visit a crop circle. We drove and drove before we were finally able to find the one we were looking for, but by that time John had needed to turn back for a lecture at the Crop Circle Symposium. The crop circle was near a magical forest called Savernake. We approached the circle knowing that some people had said it was a hoax, and others swore it was made by other beings or energy from the earth. This was my (Icasiana) first crop circle, real or pretend, and I was very excited. The crop circle was made in a wheat field. The grass was green when it was made several weeks ago, but as we walked through the field, it was golden colored and crackly with age. I could hear the whistling of the wind through the dried wheat and it reminded me of the movie “Field of Dreams” when spirit visited Kevin Costner’s character and said “build it and they will come” meaning the spirits of baseball greats such as “shoeless Joe” and others. As we entered one of the four spiral circles, I laid down on the wheat that had been flattened and felt the earth below me. There was a magnetic pull, similar to the energy I feel when I lay on a stone, or other sacred elements. It didn’t matter what people thought, real or hoax, it was magical for me. The lines were amazingly perfect and the circles, intricate as they were, were powerful and crafted with precision. It was real for me, and for Gabriel. Kate and her friend Bryony both felt that the crop circle was made by some entity or energy beyond us humans. In speaking with Ba she shared some wonderful wisdom with us. She said it doesn’t really matter if the design is real or fake. The fact that someone or some being, or some energy created this amazing, beautiful and art-filled design is a gift to the land and can actually change the energy of the land and the surroundings by its beauty and inspiration. That made all the sense in the world to me.

Cornwall – Reconnecting with old Friends

We arrived in Cornwall to visit with friends Hamish and Ba at their home in Lelant Downs, near Penzance. In recent years, they have been studying the earth energies of New Zealand and coming up with remarkable findings that they have chronicled in their book, “In Search of the Southern Serpent”. In their dowsing they have discovered how the earth’s energies respond to human consciousness, how the forms of the earth energies changed and responded to ceremony and prayer. This is similar to how the crystals of water are affected in a positive way by prayer as depicted in Dr. Emoto’s studies from his book, Messages from Water. If you want to learn more about their work or to order their book, please visit their web site at www.hamishmiller.co.uk. His book held particular interest for us because we had traveled to New Zealand during this journey, and it is the place we most wanted to go back to. It was very exciting to see them again and for Icasiana to meet them for the first time. They are very special people and their home is a center of people exploring the mysteries of life, as they are experts in dowsing the earth energies. What Ba and Hamish have done at their place is to show how you can create sacred space on your land. They’ve done it on many levels. They have created a stone circle composed of a sacred geometric design and they make it available to the community for a variety of gatherings and ceremonies. They’ve built it upon an earth energy place on their land and built it as the ancients did to enhance the site. This is a wonderful inspiration for us and what we would like to create in our home.

Are we going crazy or what? Strange Things Begin to Happen
Shortly after our arrival in Cornwall, bizarre things began to happen. We had been trying to get the van “sea worthy” for our journey through Europe for a while now. As much as we tried to fix things, there were more issues coming up and the same ones continued to torment us. We had had one breakdown when Icasiana had used the bubble gum and tape for repair, and we still needed to replace the temporary repair. When we tried to get the appropriate part, just a simple rubber T-junction, it was no longer made by Volkswagen. They call it obsolete, I beg to differ, we’re still driving the van and it’s not obsolete to us. Fortunately our friend John is very resourceful and after hours of searching for pieces, he rigged up something that worked as a solution. We had also been trying to rig up a leisure battery that would allow us to keep our food cold and fresh and allow us to charge our computers and things of that nature. We were also having difficulty making this work. Finally after days of trying to find a solution, we rigged up something that appeared to work, and we thought we would be ready to roll, except that the brand new battery kept shorting out. We were getting a bit discouraged, but this was just the beginning. What began happening next was one mishap after another, things falling on us, getting hurt in little ways, feeling very out of sorts, and then one day while parking the van near the beach, an unseen, low to the ground metal post, jumped up and gouged out the door. Icasiana and I looked at each other and starting laughing saying, “I surrender”. We told each other we had better find out what was going on so we could make amends and clear it before someone got hurt. We know that spirit talks first in a whisper, and gets progressively louder and more insistent when something needs to be attended to.

Peace Ceremony at Ba & Hamish’s Circle
There would be a peace ceremony at Hamish and Ba’s place that evening, so we resolved to focus on this dilemma that evening. Icasiana confessed later that she had gotten a message the day before, but she forgot to mention it. We’ll come back to that. The peace ceremony was held in their stone circle. The ceremony was quite wonderful, it was a group meditation focused on peace within and without. We sat and did a meditation together to broadcast peace out through the energy lines from the earth radiating it out through the radial lines to the world, especially Israel and Lebanon. Hamish told us there is a connection between Israel and this place here through Elijah’s cave in Haifa (a place we had visited on this journey). Getting back to the story, after the ceremony there was no mention of anything revealed about our predicament. As I carried Elijah back to the van, I slipped and he fell on his face on a stone. We were absolutely horrified. I carried him as he screamed and bled from the mouth. We weren’t laughing anymore. The whisper had gotten so loud it was frighteningly dangerous now. We were shaken because that night Elijah was not able to breast feed due to his swollen and painful lip. He cried a lot until we fed him a banana, and then he slept okay. Bananas have become his favorite food since. The next morning we didn’t go anywhere because Elijah needed to be held and we needed to lay low and come to grips with the message that has escaped us and was now inescapable.

Promises Not Fulfilled
We had made a promise to each other weeks before to bury our little baby and have a ceremony for her. We had promised ourselves to do this, and we still had not followed through. We knew we had to create a ceremony honoring her short time with us, and allowing her to be released in a good way. We realized that all of the “accidents” were happening because we had not fulfilled this promise. Finally we starting listening and made preparations for the ceremony to be carried out at Hamish and Bas’ place under their king oak tree near their house and garden. As it turned out, it was exactly 28 days since she silently left Icasiana’s body, and it was 28 years since Icasiana’s abortion as a young woman, a very strange “coincidence”.

The Burial of Rachel

The ceremony was simple and lovely, and very moving for us and our friends who witnessed and participated. We acknowledged her presence in our lives and sent her off with love and blessings into the West. Her name was Rachel, named after my mother. We prayed that if she would return again later, we would welcome her into our family, but that we would not forget her. After the ceremony Icasiana and I both felt exhausted and relieved. Later as Icasiana cooked in the van, Rachel came to her and said, “I love you and I’m leaving now.” Later that evening we held another ceremony, our weekly Shabbat celebration, and we called her in along with our departed ancestors. It felt good to call her in by name.

When we are out of alignment or out of integrity with our promises to ourselves, we may live a bit of hell until we can make it right. We feel very thankful that Elijah was able to heal so quickly and that no one else was seriously hurt. It was tough medicine, but we feel that it is complete now and we are clear. After the ceremony for Rachel, all the hurtful and strange things stopped happening immediately. It was a relief. We really aren’t crazy, well maybe a little bit. But who doesn’t think they might be a bit crazy at times. But we had learned a big lesson about the spirit world, keeping commitments, and being in integrity.

We also realized there was a connection with Kayumari. Kayumari is our center for sacred studies, our spiritual home, and the place where Elijah’s placenta is buried under an olive tree. We learned about performing ceremony there. Icasiana would say to me, “I wondered why they would be so meticulous about the way they did things, and keep going back when something wasn’t done right. If they made a mistake they would take the time to burn cedar to clear it. It seemed to take so much extra time and at times it was frustrating.” Now it all made sense. By being impeccable in this way, they were teaching us how to protect ourselves and keep the space sacred.

Reflections of our Time in England
I (Icasiana) was sitting on a public toilet (Loo) in Penzance England and I happened upon a certificate that was hanging from the wall. It was a certificate of the “Loo of the Year” which was awarded to this public toilet by the British Toilet Association (BTA). I laughed to myself as I remembered all the marketing awards one can receive for a job well done – these must be interesting meetings for the BTA to discuss the contending toilets! Speaking of toilets, it reminded me of one in Glastonbury. It was an automatic toilet system. All stainless steel, self cleaning and it spoke to you when you went to the bathroom. It was actually quite scary as I was sitting on the toilet; a warning alarm went off and said that I had 10 seconds to vacate the toilet. I didn’t know what to expect. Was the toilet going to eject me off the seat? Would the water automatically turn on for me to wash my hands and then the air to blow them dry before I was ready? Would the door unlock and open up for the next person to use? All I know is that I completed my bathroom break within the 10 seconds and left in a hurry. I have not been back to these ultra modern loos since! Okay, enough bathroom talk let’s get back to my impressions.

We are Watching You
Some of the things I observed that remind us to fear the government are the CCTV (Closed Circuit TV) cameras everywhere. In shops, in stores, on the street, I would sometimes look up out of nowhere and see a camera and a sign “These cameras are protecting you and our staff.” Perpetrating fear where ever they are placed, I say. I am reading the book “Conversations with God” and Neale Walsch is having a conversation with God who is giving him insight into the spiritual laws. “The first law is that you be, do, and have whatever you can imagine. The Second Law is that you attract what you fear.” This reflects the spiritual law that fear attracts like energy. This spiritual law rang true for me in England. Maybe this is why the kids seem to be in such a heightened state of rebellion. From feeling so utterly controlled they act out. They have lost their moral compass since “big brother” will do most of the thinking for them. Many times we have seen kids talking trash, body piercing and tattoos all over their body (yes, we’ve seen this in America as well) and we have heard stories of how 11 and 12 year olds are having sex and drinking heavily. This, too, we’ve heard of in the States, but not to the degree we have seen in England. Kate and Matt were so blown away by how young some of these people are, walking the streets and looking for drugs or sex. Kate mentioned to me how she felt so much younger at 13 than the kids she had met or observed on the street. I hugged her and held her tight to let her know how glad I was that she didn’t have to make grown up decisions at such a young age.

Big Brother Cameras Instead of the Police
One of the other areas that I found big brother watching is on the roads, country roads, freeways and highways; they are filled with speed cameras. The locals have become experts in slowing down around certain bends, or avoiding certain streets, or even going as far as changing the plates on their cars to avoid the massive fines and punishment inflicted upon them because of these robotic cameras. At least if there are police officers, you can try to “reason” with them if you are pulled over. Here, the camera takes a picture of your car, focused on your license tags, and even if you are going 1 mile per hour over the speed limit you will receive a hefty fine (ticket) in the mail. The problem is that if you receive one ticket (which is not difficult to achieve) that accounts for three points if you receive 12 points in one year, you lose your license for 6 months to one year. This is why some people resort to switching their license tags to avoid getting caught.

What I have seen and read between the lines of this country is a whole lot of control and choking off of spirit. Seeing the control in England so blatant reminded me of how insidious control the United States has over their citizens as well. I have mentioned to Gabriel several times how it baffles me that a country that is so filled with sacred sites and energy ley lines (Michael-Mary-Apollo-Athena and countless other ones less known) can be so filled with people “just towing the line.” I guess if we look closer to our country, outside of our home town Santa Cruz, we would probably find the same sort of control that debilitates the people.

Intolerance – a Bi-product of Control?
Is it all the control and the surveillance that causes people to lash out in ways that are harmful and destructive? Gabriel and I have heard many times the British people say “stiff upper lip” meaning keeping everything under control and not showing your emotions. As we have learned through the healing work and Trauma Release Exercises that this “stiff upper lip” can become very destructive in one’s body. Not being able to release the trauma or difficulties of life in a healthy and constructive way can lead to bandaging your feelings through the use of alcohol, drugs, food, and sex and whatever else becomes a vice or a crutch. We have also experienced many instances of intolerance both of one’s self and of us as well. We have been in stores where a simple thing as our credit card not being able to go through because of the different systems used. This has caused undo stress on the clerk as they pour out profuse apologies and imploring our forgiveness. For us, it’s just a slight inconvenience, for many of them; it is their lack of tolerance of making a mistake. We have also experienced the incessant honking if we have made a mistake driving, this happens often as we are driving a rental car with the steering wheel on the right, the stick shift on the left and driving on the “wrong” side of the road. The greatest example of intolerance came when we were waiting in line to board our car on the ferry to cross from England to France. The clerk assisting us looked at our passports and saw we didn’t have visas for France. I explained to her that we wouldn’t need them, that we have been to many countries that only required us to check in on arrival and obtain a visa. She finally called immigration as I requested and found that indeed we could go across without a visa. In the meantime, a man from the car behind us came up and started yelling and shaking his finger at Gabriel. “It’s because of YOU that we have to switch lanes to go forward. You are making us late…” The man grumbled and got back in his car and moved to the other side of the check-in area. We said a prayer for him and were not looking forward to being on a ferry with him. Gabriel also told me the story of ordering fish and chips at a local eatery and when the waitress made a mistake in the order, when Gabriel asked for what he had ordered, she realized her mistake and got so upset and embarrassed; she walked out, not to return. Isn’t that sad? Is there is no allowance for mistakes?

Hedgerows Closing In
My experiences in driving have only been limited to the rental car for the past 8 days while the van has been in the shop. One of the things I find very difficult is to maneuver around the curves and bends while driving through hedgerows the tall bushes that line nearly all farms and roads. At first I thought, or how lovely to have such greenery around you, but then it began to feel compressed. I couldn’t see past the hedges, it was difficult to see what was coming, or what was on either side past the green hedge. This too felt oppressive and controlling, such is the state of maintaining boundaries in such a blatant way. The saving grace for me about England besides the magical stone circles and vibrating ley lines has been the amazing people we have met and the friendships we have made. This makes our trip even more sacred.

I fell in love with Ba and Hamish the moment I met them. They have the energy and vitality of young children at their ages of 73 and 79 (I hope they don’t mind me mentioning this!) The stories and work that they do to help our planet is stellar. I feel so honored that we had the opportunity to spend time with them and to learn about the work they have done throughout the world. Another gift they shared with us was the gift of a family that has been camping on their land for the past few weeks, the Durr Family.


Kristina, Eugene and their three children, Hugo, Julia and Alex (who goes by the name “Ziggy”) are a wonderful family who live in a nearby town, Carbis Bay. They are from Sweden originally but have lived in England for the past 10 years. I feel very connected to Kristina and her children. The kids have had the pleasure of spending time together at their campsite. Kristina is an amazing Pilates’ instructor and massage therapist/healer. Gabriel and I had the opportunity to participate in one of her classes and it was quite amazing. We both felt empowered by connecting to our core and breathing through our bodies from head to toe. It was a lifesaver to have exercised in this way after a very stressful day. We hope to hook up with them again when we return to England in December before we leave back to the States, or possibly, they will come to visit us in California.

“Chance” Meeting Days Before we Left England
Another family that we met was Sally and Sergio and their beautiful daughter Ariana. We are going to have “tea” (dinner) at their home today, and look forward to talking to them about their spiritual journey. Sergio is from Peru and he will take his family to Machu Picchu, a sacred site in Peru, and I wanted Gabriel to speak to them of another site he visited in Peru many years ago called Saqsayhuaman. Well, at this writing, we had an amazing visit with these very special people. During our dinner, we had an illuminating conversation about our individual and collective spiritual journey. As part of the discussion, Sally revealed how much pain and suffering she had during the pregnancy with Ariana and the strain that she felt from her marriage. In addition, she had several “accidents” that occurred and there were odd and irritating things that were going wrong in the beautiful home that they lived in. As the conversation deepened, spirit showed us that one of the reasons for our meeting Sally and Sergio was to help guide them to make the decision to bury the placenta of the child Ariana which had been hidden away in the back of the freezer for nearly nine years. All these “ungrounded” events were somehow linked to their unmet promise to ground Ariana’s placenta into mother earth and plant a tree over it. Sergio’s Native Peruvian custom, similar to the Native American custom, was never fulfilled.

Facing the Darkness – Healing the Pain
Sally asked that I write this story as a means to assist others who may be struggling, or in need of this information. She told me that she couldn’t face looking at the placenta. It was too painful a reminder of the trauma and suffering she endured during the pregnancy and delivery. Every time she’d clean the freezer, she’d move it further to the back until it was “out of sight, out of mind.” Sally is quite clairvoyant but had difficulty seeing what was happening in her family as she too (as I did with my abortion) tried to “bury” the past trauma and pretend that it didn’t exist instead of facing it and healing through the process.

We were able to help facilitate for them the planting of the placenta of their daughter Ariana. As we looked back, it was ironically a similar situation that we had gone through ourselves so recently. Until we had fulfilled our commitment to bury our daughter in a ceremony as written above, we were having difficulties and hurtful things happening to us. They were going through a similar situation, experiencing many difficulties and mishaps over many years because they had not followed through on their commitment. They had felt held back and not able to root for many years. When we told them our story it helped them to see the parallel in their life and make the choice to follow through and bury Ariana’s placenta. It was a blessed ceremony, very emotional for all, especially Sally, and very empowering. We were so grateful to be catalysts for them and to share in the completion of their promise.

John and Claire and their kids Bryony and Callum left our campsite yesterday to continue their journey through Cornwell and beyond. We had spent several weeks camping with them and visiting sites together. Claire is near her term to give birth and she will be able to have her family and close friends with her on this joyous event. We hope to meet up with them again, possibly in France or Italy or wherever spirit guides us next.

All in all, I have loved being in England, seeing the amazing countryside, the beautiful lush fields, the craggy rocks at the seashore and the beautiful shades of blue and green water that fill the ocean. We’ve also enjoyed camping out since we’ve been in Cornwall. My only complaint is not being at a campsite with showers, we’ve had to steal them whenever we can by sneaking around to other campsites. I hope we haven’t broken any laws. We did leave money (the last two times). The friends we have met have been wonderful to us, and we are truly grateful that we came here. I marvel at how spirit works and how our stay in England that was intended to be 3 weeks was extended to 8 weeks so we could meet and spend the time necessary with Kristina and Sally’s family for some healings to occur. It is time to move on to France for more experiences, for other sacred sites, for our continued in-depth study of self and the surroundings that connect us.

Before we left Cornwall we finally found someone who was able to do the engine repair work that the van really needed. We especially wanted to be able to drive through the mountains without the worry of the engine blowing up. The engine is now running beautifully and it seems all is in alignment. We’re ready now and excited to continue our journey through France. We are planning to go first to the ancient stone megaliths of Carnac, then to the Pyrenees Mountains, to ancient caves, to Lourdes, to some of the mystical and sacred sites where the earth energy lines of Athena and Apollo cross through France as mapped out by Hamish. More to come!

The Eden Project – a Gift to Humanity
Just one more thing before we send you this blog. The day before we left England we were able to visit the Eden Project. This place is extraordinary and so needed in these times. The place is packed with people, like Disneyland or some kind of exciting carnival, but instead it is an educational charity dedicated to the purpose of teaching us how to stop the destructive environmental course we are on as a world culture. There is one building that tells the story of how our lifestyle choices are using and abusing finite resources and leading to global warming and environmental destruction. There are other buildings that show how we can change course and create a sustainable future. There are huge Bio-domes constructed with different environments of the world such as a humid rain forest, a dry chaparral, and a balmy Mediterranean – all for the purpose of showing how ecosystems develop and thrive and how they can be managed in a sustainable way. What an inspiration this place is – Showing mankind there is hope and demonstrating how we can reverse the deadly course we’re on. It will take each one of us doing our part to create a sustainable world that we can pass on to the next seven generations.

Au Revoir dear family and friends until we visit you from France!

England- Loss, Healing, and Recovery-June 28 thru July

England- Loss, Healing, and Recovery

June 28-July 26, 2006

Arrival in England
We get up at 5 am in the morning after staying in a motel near the Athens airport to fly out of Greece. We’re on our way to London, England to find a camper van and travel through Europe for the next 6 months.

The man at the Enterprise car rental company, Christo, is so gracious to us in helping us find things we need that we invite him to come visit us in California when he comes to the United States. It is a relief to be in England, it is a long time since we have been in an English speaking country, even though the accents can seem like another language.

We decide to go straight to Glastonbury, an ancient magical city, and do research about vans from there. As I’m driving the 2 ½ hours to get there, jet lag and exhaustion set in and I am questioning this decision to go to Glastonbury. When all the places we call about rooms for the night are either booked full or frightfully expensive, the voices of condemnation in my head start to get louder. We are finding out the prices in England are the same price as in the States except our dollars are worth half as much here. For example, the nicest room and most reasonably priced we called is £100, but to us it’s like paying $190. Ouch! Now the demons are shouting to me, “Gabriel, you should have stayed near London where most of the vans are, we were right near the Travel Lodge and could have stayed there and blah blah blah. Layers of exhaustion have descended upon me, I’m irritated by everything and don’t know where to go. Such is traveling on the road at times. By the grace of God, the place we had called at £100 is a cottage called Middlewick on 16 acres, it is near the magical Glastonbury Tor and sits on the major ley (energy) line of Glastonbury. It’s exquisite, and the proprietors allow us to stay for 2 more nights for half price. After that they’re booked; as I’ve said, by the grace of God. Of course, as it develops, these proprietors, Wendy and Judith become our friends. Those voices of fear are now shown to be pure imposters. Wendy and Judith send us to another B&B just down the road where Jean Frye lives and rents out part of her house when they are overfull. We stay with Jean a week and are at home in her wonderful place and with her hospitality and grandmotherly care. After that we return to Middlewick for a week .

Glastonbury is a wonderful town, a bit like Santa Cruz without the ocean. There are crystal shops, metaphysical bookstores, a health food store, seminars and workshops offered, people wear colorful and grandiose clothing. There is a lot of creative energy here, there is magic rooted here. I love it. I had come here about 8 years ago to take a crop circle symposium; the town is just as vibrant now as it was then. But months of travel and stress are catching up, I’m exhausted, have had diarrhea for months and all I want to do now is rest and sleep extra. On the second day here after doing most of nothing, we hike up to the Tor from our cottage. Elijah sings the whole way up to the top non stop. He makes the cutest sounds and has such a magical voice. He makes me laugh. Matt and Kate are not thrilled to be hiking and trudge along, bickering with one another. When we get to the top, Elijah is thrilled and looking around. He hears someone playing a didgeridoo and is curious and wants to move in closer, I think he wants to eat it, but he does that with everything, including stones. We listen a bit and soon go back down as it is about to get dark. As soon as we head back down, he is quiet and without another sound he goes to sleep the rest of the way back. Amazing.


Later that week we visited Avebury and as we are leaving the site and still in view of Silbury Hill, another mystical and mysterious place next to Avebury, I spot what appeared to be a crop circle. I stopped the car to look and met two men with recording equipment, binoculars and cameras, standing alongside the road. They informed me that it was not a real crop circle, rather it was a formation made by men. These two men, Robert and David, are very serious researchers into the realm of crop circles and UFOs and shared with us their experience with aliens and crop circles. We found it riveting to listen to their stories. One of the ways to tell if a crop circle is authentic is to examine the stalks of the crop. In authentic circles, the shaft will be bent almost all the way over, and instead of breaking as they normally would at that angle, they are as if they grew that way with no breaks.


We end up staying in Glastonbury for almost 3 weeks. In addition to seeing Avebury we did see a few local sites like Chalice Well in Glastonbury, but we have mostly rested and recuperated. There is a reason; something vitally important must be confronted in Glastonbury before we can continue our journey.

The Loss of our Baby Girl – July 14, 2006
A Powerful Lesson About Life
In the midst of our angst and disillusionment while in Israel, Gabriel and I conceived. It was a difficult time for us individually due to the extreme feelings of sadness and shame we were feeling about the Israeli and Palestinian situation. As a result, our relationship became strained as Gabriel immersed himself in the study of this situation and I felt lonely and saddened in my own way, even feeling a bit abandoned. For several days there was tension between us and it was difficult for both of us, and for the kids. Elijah was also affected by this time and showed us through crying more and not finding comfort at night as he slept. When we finally spilled our guts out to each other and came back into our hearts, we rediscovered the basis of our marriage, one of kindness, love and support. We stopped looking just at our own feelings and met at the door of compassion. Compassion for the people on both sides, the Israelis and the Palestinians, and compassion for the feelings we were both experiencing.

Upon retrospection I realized that when there is disharmony in our family and in our relationship, we all suffer. The energy between Gabriel and I is so strong that when it is not aligned, there is no faking it. We both became immobilized in taking care of what needed to be handled or in creating things as part of our purpose. In these times we certainly weren’t available in meeting others and found we just added to the disharmony of the world. We have both felt very strongly that it is our responsibility and our gift in this life to bring more light into the world.

We had been talking about having a little girl. Kate kept asking, “Could you please give me a baby sister?” I guess having a baby brother is nice, but Kate has dreams of dressing up our little girl in pink and frills and I’m sure her plans include taking her baby sister shopping and doing other fu-fu things with her. Well, on May 18th, after resolving a brief but overwhelming period of disharmony, we conceived; both Gabriel and I felt immediately that this was the energy of a new baby girl.

I was overjoyed. Gabriel was concerned and less than enthusiastic. Men are funny that way. He had been less than enthusiastic after the conception of our first child Elijah, but that had dissolved after a few hours, when he joined me in joy (see the Story of Elijah’s birth on our web site at: http://gabriel-icasiana.com/Elijah/ElijahBirthStory.htm). This time it was different. I tend to forget the realities and difficulties inherent in traveling with a family of five where one of the five is a needy breastfeeding infant. Being pregnant would add a whole new level of demands on my energy levels that Gabriel was concerned about. These issues were of no concern to me and I felt overjoyed about being pregnant again. When I was reminded, I remembered for a moment and then went back to being overjoyed! Kate and Matt were excited too, especially Kate.

As the fetus grew in my belly Gabriel would scan my body energetically and he felt a disturbance, he felt something was wrong. I would also scan my belly and just feel the magnetic pull of this new being in my body. My body quickly reacted and I started with cravings and feelings of nausea. This time I was craving sour things, but I was glad I was still craving ice cream as I did with Elijah. I wanted lemons and lemon-drop sucking candies. My belly started to protrude; actually part of it was the weight I had not yet lost from Elijah’s birth 9 months ago. My breasts, already filled with milk, seemed to swell even more. I did feel overwhelmed at times, and would go through almost daily crashes of my energy levels when I would get hungry, at least that’s what Gabriel would inform me of. I didn’t really notice that, as a matter of fact, I let him know that I was noticing that he had tendencies toward being a control freak. Anyway, I would stroke my belly throughout the day and be overjoyed by the life growing inside.

At just over 7 weeks pregnant I started to bleed. First spotting and then more blood started to flow from me. Gabriel and I asked our new friends in Glastonbury, who were the proprietors of the B & B we were staying in, where the nearest hospital was. We were concerned about what might occur in case the bleeding became hemorrhaging. The feelings of doom and sadness began to creep in. I knew this wasn’t a good sign. Gabriel and I spoke frankly about the disharmony we were experiencing around the time of the conception of this little one and how different it had been with us when Elijah was conceived. When Elijah was conceived it was the day after we had become engaged and also after we had participated in a healing and transformational ceremony that had left us feeling blissfully connected. He had been conceived and he developed in a magical and sacred container. This time was a struggle through emotional disharmony and physical exhaustion. When we were in Egypt right after the conception in Israel, I had gone through days of being miserable from the extreme heat (reaching oven temperature of 125 degrees), and I had spent quite a number of evenings not sleeping when the air conditioner didn’t work. I had been exhausted and Gabriel said I was just a tad disagreeable, but I don’t know what he was talking about. We had strong feelings that the container in which I held the developing new being was compromised and we were concerned about the health of the baby.

As the days went by and I continued to bleed, we realized that this baby would not survive. There were times when I felt utterly responsible and started to blame myself. My mind took out the hammer and started beating me up with accusatory questions and assaults of blame: How could you miscarry? Your mother had 13 babies and all of them were fine. All 4 of your sisters have had babies and not one miscarriage in the Icasiano and Barrs side of the family, how could this happen to you?

Our loss also brought to the surface the buried shadowy demons of my past, of the secrets of a teenage girl, afraid to speak of the unspeakable, or to ask for help when she was in trouble. I was a guilt-ridden Catholic girl who got pregnant at 17 and felt my only alternative was to have an abortion and put this terrible secret to rest buried for the past 28 years, but secrets never rest, they eventually bubble back up to the surface until the truth is spoken.

The lies, the unspoken truths, and the shame became unwanted baggage that I carried around for 28 years. I wasn’t even aware of this debris that was clogging up my systems of awareness, consciousness and receptiveness. I had no idea how this debris had clouded my experiences and affected the choices I had made. Now the veil had pulled away and I was seeing how it had affected me.

God needs us to resolve these kinds of traumas and shames from the past in order to heal the deepest, darkest pains that block our hearts and eclipse our capacity to show up in the world with our true brilliance. Our loss today was more powerful, more potent medicine than all of the counseling, confessions and healing work I had done up to that point over the past 28 years. I am so grateful for the blessing of reliving and actually feeling the pain and the suffering of my younger self, now 45. How afraid I was and how alone I was. No partner, no one to share this pain with. I never felt I could talk to my family about this; especially my mom who I always believed was a saint. How could I admit my shortcomings, my carelessness, let alone the fact that I got pregnant which meant I had sex with a boy/man. I remember now how I thought of all the things I could say at the time, but somehow the truth never made it out of my heart or my mouth. I even thought maybe I could feign Immaculate Conception, but I was way too cool for that at 17. So I had my terrible abortion, alone, at a planned parenthood and drove myself back to work so I could continue my life as if nothing happened and pretend that nothing was wrong. I tried to escape from my reality by leaving home shortly after and moving from Oklahoma City back to my soul’s home, California. My secret was safe, no one ever found out. I remember a few years ago when I told Gabriel about my having an abortion he was supportive and caring and helped me through several layers of healing with his reconnection and chiropractic gifts. Sadly, I was never able to speak my truth with Kate and Matt’s father for fear of his judgment. So he never knew of this secret even after 18 years of being together. He had told me once early on, “I don’t want to know about or hear about your past. Your past is the past and it should be kept there”. Sounds like good advice when you want to please someone or if you have secrets, but very damaging if you want to cleanse and revitalize your soul to heal or have an intimate relationship based on truth.

Now, today, I could feel the pain, experience the loss and share the feelings with my husband and my family. Kate and Matt have been able to talk about their sadness and give me their support as we heal as a family, a family who lost this little being. We even mentioned how horrific it would be if we were to lose little Elijah, what a precious being he is in our family, and how he has touched us so profoundly in his first 9 months of life.

One of the greatest lessons I have learned throughout this walk and especially through this time is that of complete and utter surrender. How could I protect our little unborn baby, how could I try to hold on to her life as it started bleeding away? All the protection I could provide her was inching out of my body as I walked, as I sat, as I slept. There was nothing I could do, no magic potent to stop this natural process. I could only surrender. Surrender to the process and surrender to the ensuing sadness that followed. In surrendering I found I was then able to embrace the feelings and that was the grace.

Reunion with John & Claire & their family,
And meeting new friends

The trip is about to pick up velocity again. We have been in England almost a month as we’ve now spent more than a week in Hereford. Icasiana is doing very well now, and has gotten her strength back, and her usual rascality and vitality. We came to Hereford in our new van to see John and Claire and their children Bryony and Callum who we had become friends with in Egypt. As fate would have it, they have returned to England unexpectedly for his wife Claire to have their baby in cooler weather and a safer environment. They have introduced us to their friends Kim and Belinda, and their children Merlin, Theo, Hugo, and Natasha. We have been staying in their home as we prepare for our European journey. We have developed a very strong connection with them and we have collectively been doing profound healing work. Icasiana will talk about our experience with one healing couple in the next blog. Stay tuned. While I have been doing my own brand of chiropractic and trance journey work Icasiana has been doing counseling work as an opening and then as a closing after the work, and it has been synergistic and profound. This is very exciting for us, as we both feel we are being shown a part of our life’s work. This trip has become a lot less about visiting sacred sites and much more about creating friendships and being catalysts for others on the sacred healing journey.

We will head out to Scotland and then Cornwall in England, then on to France, Italy and Spain in our VW camper van. Scratch that, the itinerary is very much in flux right now. We just found out that the crop circle symposium is happening in Glastonbury this weekend and our friend Hamish Miller (he is a well known author, blacksmith, and dowser of the St. Michael and St. Mary lines through Europe) will be speaking there, so we must go. We may not make it to Scotland, we’ll see.
We've wanted to go to Austria, Germany, and Czech and are not sure if we'll get to those places. The impetus to go to Austria is to visit the PKS Institute based upon the work of “Viktor Schauberger”. His work from over 50 years ago was and is still revolutionary. Check out this web site about him at:
http://frank.germano.com/viktorschauberger.htm

To get to our most up to date info go to our blog site at:
http://oursacredjourney.blogspot.com
or check the web site at: www.gabriel-icasiana.com, it has more pictures from previous posts.


Thanks for joining us on our journey and we love hearing from you all,
Love, Gabriel, Icasiana, Kate, Matt and Elijah

Greece – Family Reunion and Reunion with the Gods - June 9-27,2006

Greece – Family Reunion and Reunion with the Gods

Coming to Greece is the demarcation point of our sacred journey. It’s almost halfway complete and now we change from traveling through Southeast Asia and the Middle East to Europe now, from lifestyles and customs very foreign to ours and at times challenging, to a continent where the way of life is very similar to ours. It’s also a relief to leave behind the heat of Egypt and be in Athens where it is still cool before the heat of their summer comes. In most of the other countries we’d been in, I had gotten in the habit of carrying toilet paper all the time in one of my pockets, because most of the bathrooms did not have toilet paper, let alone toilet seats. Now what will I do with my pockets?

The first thing we do after we get settled in our motel in Athens is to go see my family at their hotel. My mother, aunt and sister have traveled overnight to get to Athens from New York, of course they want to see all of us, but we know they want to first see baby Elijah. It’s been almost six months since we’ve been together and he’s grown so much. The reunion is sweet, but we know this visit will need to be short because an all-night flight and jet lag will be exhausting for them. Our plans are made to meet the next day to visit the Parthenon which is literally a short walk from their hotel. We can see the lights shining upon it as we leave their hotel.

The next day we visit the venerated Parthenon, recognized as one of the finest architectural buildings of the world. Many of the public buildings in the United States are modeled after it. It’s nice to see the original although it is just a shell of what it was and much is now left to the imagination. The site that the Parthenon is built upon is reputed to be a special place, where ley lines of the earth meet, and I would have to agree, the place is charged.

Searching for Family Roots in Jannina
After 2 days in Athens, we will go to the mountains of Jannina, the birthplace of both of my mother’s parents. This will be very special for my whole family to see. We are hoping to find the area where they lived, the old Jewish quarters, and also the old synagogue where they would have gone for Services and prayers. My uncle and aunt had visited a few years ago, and being part of a tour group did not have enough time to find these places. This search is also for my Uncle Elliott who looks so much like my grandfather.

On the drive up we drive further than expected and as it gets late it is difficult to find a place to stay. We end up staying in our rental van, although it really isn’t equipped for sleeping. A poor night’s sleep is had by all, although we did save the night’s motel charges. We camped out in a certain town that had the most stunning rock formations. We can’t even remember the name of the town though unfortunately. As we drove up to the town, we saw this surreal image of something lit up in the distance that we could not tell what it was. When we got closer we realized it was the huge rock formations lit up by spotlights, it was an amazing sight they had created. That night I also got sick again, let me simply say it was a poor night to not be by a bathroom, thankfully I still had not thrown away that toilet paper in my pockets yet, and I’ll leave it at that.

We met my mother, aunt and sister in Jannina as they had flown there, and we began our search for the lineage of our ancestors. We went for lunch and asked the waitress where the old Jewish Quarters were and she let us know that it was about 20 meters from where we were, right inside the stone wall that encircled the old city. We had come right to it without even knowing it. So we walked through the old city, reflecting on the realization that this is where my grandparents had lived when they were young, and they had walked through these same streets almost 100 years ago. We had no idea where they had lived, but we hoped to find the synagogue/temple. A few questions to locals brought no answers. Hmmmm. Then we went to the museum inside the walls and asked there. After some gesturing and prancing we were taken to a spot overlooking the city and shown the roof of the synagogue below. Now we were getting excited as we saw the old red tiled roof of the 350 year old building. We proceeded to walk there and then we were standing in front of it. It was very emotional for all of us to be there and feel the connection with our ancestors. We really don’t know how far back our grandparent’s families lived in this town, but they had left by the beginning of the 20th century.

Our next goal was to find a way to get into the temple. We had been told that it was closed and only opened on rare occasions. Almost all of the Jews of Jannina had been taken away by the Germans in World War II and killed in the extermination camps. 97% of all the Jews of Jannina never returned. At this time only a few Jews still remained in the city, not enough to keep the temple running. We would find out that this would be a repeating theme in Greece. For example, when we visited Thessalonica later we visited the Jewish museum and learned about the town being a center of Jewish culture. Half the city had been inhabited by Jews who were a vital part of the city, economically and culturally, but again, nearly all of them (97%) had been taken away and killed by the Nazis. I believe the numbers of Jews living there had been 55,000 men, women and children taken, and more than 53,000 were killed.

We had the name of someone who had a store in Jannina who we hoped would be able to get us into the synagogue, but first we had to find the store. We eventually did find the store but she was not there. Her assistant did tell us that she would return later. After waiting a whole day for her to return from Athens, we met with Allegra and explained to her our family roots in her town of Jannina. Magically for us, it had been pre-arranged for the temple to be opened tomorrow morning for a man who would be visiting from Athens.
The temple would be open and we would be able to get into it on our last scheduled day in Jannina. We were very excited and thankful that spirit had orchestrated this synchronicity for us.

Cousin Nina Found

Before we left her shop I happened to ask Allegra if there were any more Jewish shops in the area. She pointed me in the direction of Nina’s dress shop just down the street. When we went in and explained to Nina who we were, she started asking us questions that traced back our lineage. Before long she was hugging us and letting us know that we were cousins. What an amazing and joyful shock that was. We were soon to discover that we were also related to her husband through marriage, but he had recently passed away. We had hoped to visit with her daughter when we returned to Athens, but sadly we did not manage to make that happen.

The next day we all went to the temple and for me and my mother, aunt, and sister it was very emotional to be in the holy place that our ancestors had worshipped in with their families and community such a long time ago. I know my wife Icasiana was very sympathetic to what we were going through. I felt as if my grandparents were watching over us and felt very close to them. As part of my family’s Shabbat ritual on Friday evenings, I also call in my ancestors, and this made it even more special for me to be in the place that they celebrated their holy days. I also thought of my uncle Elliot who had come here with his wife, my Aunt Phyllis, a few years ago and had not been able to find this temple, let alone get in like we had. So I felt we were also doing this for them too. We left the temple feeling very satisfied that a major goal of my family’s trip had come to fruition.

Kastoria - Finding my Father’s Father’s Hometown
After Jannina we went to the town of Kastoria which was about a 3 hour drive away. The funny thing about Kastoria is that it is the town that my father’s father grew up in, the Russo side of the family. I had always thought that he was from Turkey. The fact of the matter is that he had grown up in Kastoria; which at the time was under Turkish rule and part of the Ottoman Empire which dissolved after World War I. Today Kastoria is a town in Greece.

We were blessed in Kastoria to stay at a hotel by the name of the Chloe Hotel. The proprietors of the hotel, Mimi and Andreas, were such gracious and generous people; they befriended us and did something very special for us. Mimi took us to see the city, a very beautiful city by a gorgeous lake, and she showed us where the Jewish section of the city had been. This was the area where my grandfather probably would have lived. We were so grateful to Mimi for this gift she gave us. My grandfather never talked to me about his life here, only that his family was very poor when he lived here. That must certainly have been an impetus for him to prosper financially when he immigrated to America, and he did, he became very wealthy. Once he came to the United States though, he never returned to his homeland.

In exploring the roots of our ancestry we confront a number of mysteries about what our elders were really like, how they lived and what they thought about and dreamed of. Here I am at 49 years old and for the first time tracing these roots. Of course now I wish that I had asked a lot more questions of my grandparents when they were living. I did pester my grandmother from Jannina enough to have her write her memoirs which is now a family treasure. I realize how important it is to tell the family folklore as a way of passing down the history and transmitting the dreams of the lineage. There were many times that I felt alienated within my own family as a youngster, and now I know that my time will come to pass on the dreams of my life.

On to Crete
After this time of tracing our family roots in Jannina, Kastoria, and then Thessalonica, my sister returned to her family in the States and the rest of us flew to the resort island of Crete. There we relaxed, went swimming in the pools and ocean, and visited the ancient ruins of Knossos (another very charged place - full of quartz crystals in the ground). There was much in Crete to see that we didn’t, exhaustion had begun to overtake us, so we just stayed close to where we were lodging and spent time with the family. Kate was in heaven because she got to go shopping everyday with my mother and Aunt Joan.

It was especially joyful for my family to be able to spend time with Elijah as he continues to grow in such a wonderful way. Every morning we wake up we look at him and say, “God, he’s so cute.” We literally look at him in awe. Elijah was able to go in the ocean, and in the pool he came alive with his “kick kick, paddle paddle, swim swim” mantra as he is learning to swim and is just now getting comfortable going under water, and he could show all this to Nana and the family.

It was of course sad to say goodbye to my mother and aunt as we will not see them for another six months until we return to the United States when our journey is finished.
For us, we went from Crete back to Athens and rented another car and drove to the town of Delphi, west of Athens about 2 ½ hours. Wow, what an experience to visit Delphi.

A little History and Mythology of Delphi

Ancient Delphi, the most important sacred site in ancient Greece, was best known as the supreme oracle site of the world. According to mythology, Zeus released two eagles from opposite ends of the earth and they met in the sky above Delphi. That spot became known as the very center of the world, the place where heaven and earth met, and the place on earth where man was closest to the gods.

Delphi attracted pilgrims from all across the ancient world; generals, kings, and individuals of all ranks came to ask the oracle of Apollo’s advice on the best course to take in war, politics, love and family. Even Alexander the Great made use of the oracle. In those days there were no roads like today, and getting to Delphi, which sits up high in the holy mountains of Parnassus, must have been a difficult journey.

It is said that questions were given to a priestess (called Pythia) who 'channeled' the spirit of Apollo. She would go into trance and like a possessed medium would speak in an altered voice and chant her responses. Her messages were then translated by a priest. It is also said she practiced sexual abstinence and fasted before giving oracles. One other interesting thing to mention is the chemical vapors that are part of the lore of helping the channel go into trance and/or receiving messages as it was recorded by Strabo who lived in 64 BC-25 AD):

“They say that the seat of the oracle is a cavern hollowed deep down in the earth, with a rather narrow mouth, from which rises a vapor that produces divine possession. A tripod is set above this cleft, mounting which, the Pythia inhales the vapor and prophesies.”

There is a fault line in this exact area of the Temple of Apollo (which is where it is believed this happened) that could allow vapor gases to have been emitted here. Analysis of the water from the Kerna spring in the sanctuary itself revealed the presence of methane, ethane and ethylene. It has been found that a less than 20% mixture of ethylene induces a trance state

We also visited the ancient spring, called the Castalian Spring that is located between the Temple of Apollo and Tholous. For a long time it has been reputed to have healing properties, we drank the water and it was very special indeed. In classical times, all pilgrims to Delphi stopped here to ritually bathe before entering the sacred precinct.


Icasiana’s Experience
After visiting the temple of Apollo, Gabriel, Elijah and I trek down to the Tholous site and the temple of Athena. I hadn’t read as much as I would have liked in the guide books so I was unsure whether the oracle of Delphi spoke at the Tholous or the temple of Apollo. As I stood in front of the Tholous, a beautiful edifice of carved stone in a circular arrangement of columns, a gentleman came up and spoke to me. I had noticed him meditating quietly sitting on the large stones as we came into this holy space. I had nodded hello to him and kept on walking by. As he approached me, he said “you know we can communicate with them if we attune ourselves to their frequency.” I nodded and smiled as I wondered if he was speaking of the Oracle or some other entity. I asked if this is where the Oracle spoke through the priestess. He nodded and we both just stared at the wonder of this. I was pleased as Gabriel returned so he would be able to share in the conversation. I introduced Gabriel to this kind man who was from Toronto; his name is Santo.

Santo was so open and caring and took us back to the tree he had been sitting under and worked with us on reading people’s energy fields. We did a brief meditation and then a couple of exercises to read the energy and colors of a person’s aura. We were fascinated with his knowledge and his desire to work with us and his special connection to Delphi and some of the other sacred sites of the world such as Egypt that we too had traveled to. As we were leaving, I noticed a book he was carrying. I asked if he wrote the book and he said yes, and then gave it to me. We said our goodbyes and we went off to meet back up with Kate and Matt. That afternoon while Elijah and Gabriel napped, I read the book from cover to cover. The book was the story, I believed, of Santo’s life. It told of his powers of his childhood being aware of the energy and unspoken words of adults. It was a fascinating book of both real life and fantasy. We found out later that Santo is dyslexic and it is challenging for him to write and to read, and yes, basically the book is about his life. We were blessed to have met Santo. He is a journeyer on the spiritual path and he came to this site as a part of his life’s work to help the world be a better place, in his own way.

Gabriel’s Work with Santo
Over the next couple of days, we spent some very special time with Santo. One evening he and I (Gabriel) sat in meditation and with his assistance I was able to feel the energy of the earth and heavens coursing through my body and filling me up with the light of spirit. It was a very ecstatic experience and something I want to learn how to do on my own. It has never been easy for me to sit and meditate, I usually will do something physical, running or hiking and that opens the creative channel for me; but just sitting and meditating – no.
The last day we were in Delphi before returning to Athens and then getting a flight to England, we took a little trip to the Cave of Dionysius with Santo. It was a pretty comical situation because we were driving on these far away mountain roads not knowing how to get there. Just by trusting we were helped in a very remote area by someone who escorted us to the unmarked road. As we drove up the road I was starting to wonder how wise it was to drive up a road suitable for a 4 wheel jeep or truck and not a little suburban car. There were boulders and ditches and sharp stones in the road ready to pierce our tires, while my mind shouted at me. It even called me names like idiot and stupid, and asked me how I could get myself and my family in such a silly situation where we were so vulnerable. Can you imagine that? Well I know my mother would not have approved – luckily for me my wife loves a good adventure!

Anyway, we arrived safely and the cave was a very special place to go. Elijah loved it too; he loves all the special places in nature we go to. He just lights up and shimmies his arms and legs in glee. We were able to say au revoir to Santo beside that cave up on that mountainside and be very happy for a new friend we can connect with heart to heart, hone our mission with, and share this amazing journey of life with.
In Retrospect Overall, this part of the journey, visiting with family and searching for our family roots has been so rewarding for me and I believe for the kids as well. They were inspired to ask more questions of their grandparents and it sparked discussions of nationalities and family lineage. We continue to find this sacred journey a blessing in truly living each day in a state of awe and adventure. We believe this attentiveness and presence weaves a tighter bond and inspires a life-long desire to learn and live through experience for the kids and us.

On to England and Europe
While in Delphi we decided to fly to London instead of going to Italy as originally planned. We will end up purchasing a VW camper van and continue our journey throughout Europe for the next 5 months on the ground.
You can check our web site to see pictures and read our updates at www.gabriel-icasiana.com . For the most up to date writings check our blog site at:
http://oursacredjourney.blogspot.com/
We love you and appreciate your support,
Gabriel and Icasiana, Kate, Matt, and Elijah